My Biggest Regret in Life

Many years ago, I fulfilled my dream of writing a novel. It wasn’t great by any means, but I was incredible proud that I managed to finish such a humungous project. I sent it out to just a few agents, not expecting any reply. But then, lo and behold, miracle of miracles, I got a response. The agent liked my novel but before she would submit it, she wanted me to have it edited. She gave me a list of editors she worked with, and with big dreams of my future, I contacted them. The cost would be a minimum of $1,000. Unfortunately, I was out of work at the time and didn’t have an extra $1,000 play money floating around.  But it wasn’t just the money. My fear was that if I spent the money and the agent couldn’t sell my novel, I would be a double failure.

So, after much soul searching, I passed on hiring an editor. I never sent the manuscript out to another agent and over the years lost my one last copy. I guess you know what my biggest regret in life is, right? That I didn’t have faith in me.  Don’t ever make the same mistake!!

 

 

Rowing to Nowhere

Before the Covid lockdown, I saw a film about a women crew who rowed the ocean. It was called Losing Sight of Shore and it turned out to be the launch of my relationship with rowing. No, not in the water, but on the shore. The day after watching the film I had my first go on a rowing machine at the gym. I only did 5 minutes, but that was enough. I instantly became addicted to the repetitive rhythmic nature of rowing. I remember how I closed my eyes and despite the blaring noise of the gym, felt completely calm. It was just me and the machine. Nothing else existed or mattered.

I eventually bought a $99 rowing machine, and I use it almost every day. Better than Xanax...but not a glass of Chardonay.

 

Better Late Than Never

Getting old sucks! Of course, it’s better than the alternative, but the aches and pains in the morning are just plain awful. There is however one thing that always brings a special joy to my day – discovering something new as a senior citizen. Yesterday it was QUEEN. Yes, I’ve always known who Freddie Mercury was and yes, I knew their music, but I never really got it. That changed last night while watching Bohemian Rhapsody. I can see why the film was up for a best picture and why Rami Malek won the Oscar for best actor. I can always use more joy in my life so gonna watch Bohemian Rhapsody again...and again.

 

It’s Up To You New York

I wish I had wings. Just booked my bi-yearly trip to NYC. It’s a short visit, but worth every second of travel hell. Cassandra here I come! What I love most about THE CITY? Besides my daughter, it’s that I feel alive when I’m there. The noise, the smells, the crowds, THE CITY is breathing with excitement. I have a clear memory of sitting in the backseat of our car returning from a New York expedition. I was probably 8 or 9 and as I gazed out the car window, I said to myself, “Never forget this moment.” I never have. I may have lived in Los Angeles for close to 50 years, but my time here is just a visit. I can’t wait to go HOME!

  

Fight For The Things You Care About.

I have absolutely no idea why I decided to add Paint-by-Number to my 79^th year “FUN” list. I do have a very dim memory of completing a horse’s head Paint-by-Number kit when I was a teen. But since I have no relationship with horses, perhaps it was a gift?

Once I placed Paint-by-Number on my list, I immediately knew who I wanted to paint. My hero, Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Every night after dinner, I would tell Alexa to play some classical music, sit at the dining room table and paint. Immediately all my cares and woes floated away. Scientists agree because according to an article I read, “This artsey hobby helps reduce stress and anixiety.”  When I finished, I framed it and added it to my RBG shrine. Next up Frida Kahlo.

 

My Fashionable Mother

During the 1950’s a pearl necklace was an essential fashion accessory. I remember how excited my mother was the day she brought home her necklace. Apparently, there is a “tooth test” for real cultured pearls and I recall my mother rubbing the necklace against her teeth. Real pearls feel gritty as opposed to fake ones which are smooth. She let me try the tooth test, but what I recall most of that day is how we giggled together.

After she passed, I found the pearl necklace in pieces and vowed to one day have them restrung. Twenty-nine years had passed, and the pearls still sat in my jewelry box. It was time to relive that memory, so I had a necklace, and a pair of earrings made. When I wear them, I remember to giggle.

 

Recreating a Childhood Dream

It is a memory so vivid; I can close my eyes and feel the joy. The backdrop – my bedroom - and on the bed, a pile of Cherry Ames and Nancy Drew library books. I am in 7^th grade and I was about to live out a long-held fantasy. Finish the last page of a book, close it, pick a new book from a pile on my bed, open to page 1 and start reading.    

Fast forward. Today was the day. At age 78 I am recreating that moment again. My pile is a mix of Kindle, hard and soft cover books. Although I am clearly not a 12-year-old, reliving the memory is still just as sweet. I feel the joy.

RESTARTING THE BLOG

Meant to post this on December 17, 2024. A bit late, but still relevant. I guess I should start at the beginning…several years ago I began a birthday tradition. Not a resolution, but a goal to spend the year completing at least one “FUN” project. The past year, for my 78th birthday, my “FUN” project was to write 78 haikus. CHECK! Perfecting the art of crepe making. CHECK! 

Now that I am starting my 79th rotation around of the sun, the theme is Strong Women and my new projects are:

1. Restart my Blog – CHECK!

2. Paint-by-Numbers

3. Read, read, read

Grab some popcorn, sit back and enjoy the show.