The Patterned Paper Treatment Center - Santa Monica, CA

To all of us who are currently dealing with MOE and the other diseases/conditions that affect our daily life - there is hope! Dr. Scrapman, founder of the first treatment center solely devoted to Scrapbook Disorders, contacted me last week and has graciously offered one lucky FOLLOWER a courtesy stay at The Patterned Paper Treatment Center.

I have summarized the following information from the stack of materials Dr. Scrapman sent me, but if you have questions please feel free to leave a comment and I promise to answer. EllenBee

Welcome to the Patterned Paper Treatment Center, where we combine talent, creativity and imagination to help women battling the debilitating effects of Scrapbook Overload.

Dr. J Scrapman, the founder of The Patterned Paper Treatment Center, recognizes that each woman brings a different skill level to the treatment process. The Patterned Paper Treatment Center’s goal is to create a personalized treatment program to address each women’s unique issues.

Some of the areas we specialize in include:

·    Must Own Everything (MOE) – the compulsive need to own everything from a collection

·    Distress Ink Delusion (DID) – the overwhelming desire to collect every color distress ink on the market

·    Tiny Tag Syndrome (TTS) -  the obsessive need to add hundreds of tiny tags to mini albums

·       Mini Album Madness (MAM) – the urge to make mini albums from such obscure objects as toilet paper rolls, coffee sleeves and paint sticks

·    Coupon Palsy (CP) – a serious disorder that causes the woman holding a 40% off coupon to feel short of breath and shake uncontrollably

·    Wandering Washi Tape (WWT) – a new phenomenon that results in searching stores, Etsy and eBay to satisfy a longing for new Washi Tape

Our guests reside in beautifully decorated Shabby Chic suites featuring tea stained lace curtains, paper roses from Prima Marketing and white Jetmax cube furniture. Daily group therapy meetings will be taught by the staff, who are all graduates of Michael’s 4-part scrapbook course.  

The Patterned Paper Treatment Center currently treats adult women of all ages from 18 to 70+.  But, as these diseases appear to be spreading to the male population, we have plans in the near future to expand the program to include men.  

We firmly believe that treatment should embrace not only the woman, but her family as well. We hold weekly family meetings at our LSS in their Crop Room, located just a few blocks from our luxurious campus.

We happily give tours of the facilities and would love to have you visit. Unfortunately, you are not allowed to bring cameras, scissors or adhesives onto the premises.

I just spoke with Dr. Scrapman and he has decided that if my LUCKY FOLLOWER is not yet ready to enter the center, he would be happy to send her a gift certificate to Michael's. He also wanted me to mention that he treats Stampitis.