Does a Tree Have Feelings?

One of the things that I love about our backyard is our big, OLD, glorious apricot tree. I remember one spring there were so many blossoms that when they dropped it looked like the patio was covered with snow. I dreamed of making three ingredient apricot jam. Just apricots, sugar and lemon juice – sweet and a little tart.My mouth still waters when I think about apricot jam over butter on toast, or what about crepes filled with my homemade apricot jam? Organic sugar – check, organic lemon – check, organic apricots from our tree, nope. Never happened.

Despite always having blossoms, we aren’t that lucky with the actual fruit. I think the most apricots that have ripened has been a lucky dozen. Here’s the problem, I think. Squirrels, bad soil, and no fertilizer.

Every spring, early summer TJ’s sells cartons of large ripe apricots. I once bought a carton and Tony complained that they weren’t as sweet as ours. Perhaps. But the apricots from our tree are few and far between and so tiny that they resemble cherries, not apricots.

Today while shopping at TJ's I noticed they had just put out jars of organic apricot jam. I was tempted. But I feel guilty, like I'm cheating on our tree.