Monday, May 21, 2012

The Patterned Paper Treatment Center - Santa Monica, CA

To all of us who are currently dealing with MOE and the other diseases/conditions that affect our daily life - there is hope! Dr. Scrapman, founder of the first treatment center solely devoted to Scrapbook Disorders, contacted me last week and has graciously offered one lucky FOLLOWER a courtesy stay at The Patterned Paper Treatment Center.

I have summarized the following information from the stack of materials Dr. Scrapman sent me, but if you have questions please feel free to leave a comment and I promise to answer. EllenBee

Welcome to the Patterned Paper Treatment Center, where we combine talent, creativity and imagination to help women battling the debilitating effects of Scrapbook Overload.

Dr. J Scrapman, the founder of The Patterned Paper Treatment Center, recognizes that each woman brings a different skill level to the treatment process. The Patterned Paper Treatment Center’s goal is to create a personalized treatment program to address each women’s unique issues.
Some of the areas we specialize in include:

·    Must Own Everything (MOE) – the compulsive need to own everything from a collection

·    Distress Ink Delusion (DID) – the overwhelming desire to collect every color distress ink on the market

·    Tiny Tag Syndrome (TTS) -  the obsessive need to add hundreds of tiny tags to mini albums

·       Mini Album Madness (MAM) – the urge to make mini albums from such obscure objects as toilet paper rolls, coffee sleeves and paint sticks

·    Coupon Palsy (CP) – a serious disorder that causes the woman holding a 40% off coupon to feel short of breath and shake uncontrollably

·    Wandering Washi Tape (WWT) – a new phenomenon that results in searching stores, Etsy and eBay to satisfy a longing for new Washi Tape

Our guests reside in beautifully decorated Shabby Chic suites featuring tea stained lace curtains, paper roses from Prima Marketing and white Jetmax cube furniture. Daily group therapy meetings will be taught by the staff, who are all graduates of Michael’s 4-part scrapbook course.  

The Patterned Paper Treatment Center currently treats adult women of all ages from 18 to 70+.  But, as these diseases appear to be spreading to the male population, we have plans in the near future to expand the program to include men.  

We firmly believe that treatment should embrace not only the woman, but her family as well. We hold weekly family meetings at our LSS in their Crop Room, located just a few blocks from our luxurious campus.

We happily give tours of the facilities and would love to have you visit. Unfortunately, you are not allowed to bring cameras, scissors or adhesives onto the premises.

I just spoke with Dr. Scrapman and he has decided that if my LUCKY FOLLOWER is not yet ready to enter the center, he would be happy to send her a gift certificate to Michael's. He also wanted me to mention that he treats Stampitis.

35 comments:

  1. I have an advanced stage of DID (I need all ink, reinkers, markers, dabbers, stickles, and I keep hunting for the perfect storage for same). At least it's not a cocaine addiction, right? :D

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  2. Ellen, you are hilarious!!! Just LOVE you!!! I can always count on YOU to brighten my day!!! Thanks so much for all you do! :)

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  3. I love your descriptions! I'm pretty sure I have MOE, TTS, MAM, and CP! LOL. Some therapy is definitely in order. However, I do agree with stick ^.

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  4. Seriously you are an incredible writer, too! You're very creative, and I really enjoy reading your posts. Scrap therapy is definitely in order! This campus you described sounds divine!~

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  5. When I first start reading, I was like are this for real? But then I realized how bad I got it....All of that in the description above and you want to know more? I just started scrapbooking/card making a few months ago...I ashamed of myself and would love to get in ASAP especially after the lovely and delightful description of those suites. Thank Ellen for all your help!!

    GIGIGI30 from Scrapbook.com

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  6. OH dear..I seem to be displaying symptoms for multiple things on that list. People have no idea how serious a matter this is-I'm so glad you have found someone to help us out!

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  7. Thank you, thank you! I have long suffered from what I know know to be MOE. How wonderful to have this syndrome finally recognized as legit. I have recently experienced symptoms of WWT and controlling them has now become a losing battle. Kudos to Dr. Scrapman and the PPTC for their work in this area.

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  8. Fortunately, I only suffer from MOE. I can only imagine how difficult life would be to have another of the conditions as well.

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    1. Although, I do suffer from a different condition you didn't mention: RBIOS (Reading Blogs instead of Scrapping).

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  9. Finally!! I have a name for my 'disorder' Thank you for giving me hope. MOE is a serious thing and shouldn't be taken lightly. Thank you Dr. Scrapman... you are a miracle worker.

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  10. Oh I for sure have CP! I usually hits me with a 50% off coupon though! LOL!

    ~Tracy

    blue.tacs at yahoo dot com

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  11. I have CP for sure and did show signs of MOE over Flora and Fauna. Now I think I am showing signs of DID but I blame it on J's for having a 50% off sale. I guess blaming the outlets is part of the syndrome.

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  12. Sounds like a disorder I may need to look into. :) It appears to be especially prevalent near areas where scrapbook supplies are produced and warehouse sales can be found in abundance (e.g. Utah). Good to hear there's a treatment plan!

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  13. Hi, my name is Lynn and I can finally admit, I have MOE.
    Not sure I really want a cure but would LOVE to try treatment!

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  14. I definitely have DID and CP. I think my husband might soon have me checked involuntarily into a treatment program.

    Thanks for the laughs, Lisa

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  15. MOE, DID and CP seem to be my current maladies, but these diseases are tricky. They seem to change from time to time, making an exact diagnosis difficult. I also suffer from Stampitis, causing me to NEED every stamp and ink pad I see, even though I seldom use them. Stampitis seems to be a variation of MSS the Maybe Someday Syndrome, causing a person to justify buying anything they see because "Maybe Someday I will need it!"

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  16. OH...LOL..... love this post. The center sounds nice so I'll go but am incurable. I have CP and MOE badly.... and I am a grateful follower of you.... Thanks for this post: you lifted my day.

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  17. I definitely suffer from many of the above but mostly CP. I broke down in a sweat at 5:55 last night when I realized that I had a 37% off coupon for Archiver's and they closed at 6:00!!! HOW could I get to them in 5 minutes when I am 20 minutes away!?!?!

    IT WAS AWFUL!!! I had to run my fingers through my bling for yours just to calm myself!
    Julie O aka Ohio4hmom

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  18. I am fortunate to only have a mild case of all of the above. I did notice someone mentioned Warehouse sales around Utah - How far is that from NZ?? I think that I might need to visit!
    I might have a different disease - Need a bigger craft studio! Is there a cure for that? xx Michelle

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  19. Hahahaha.....LOVE IT!! Sharing this on my FB :D

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  20. I am literally laughing out loud! This is the funniest thing I have ever read! My fave part: the rooms are furnished with Jetmax furniture! I am so happy I found your blog through your post on the Life on the Scrapbeach ning site. It is so refreshing to "meet" a fellow scrapper with such a geniune sense of humor. Thank you so much for sharing and thanks for the generous giveaway! -Lindsay D

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  21. Ellen, this is so cute, and true1 Id love the chance to stay in a Prima furnished room! I most definitely have the MAM. And dont want to be cured!

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  22. Oh my lord! I'm very frightened as I am displaying symptoms of ALL of the diseases listed! I know there is no cure so the treatment center is perfect for us who have any or all of these dispicable diseases! LOL I absolutely LOVE reading your posts.....
    So glad I found your blog! If nothing else I'll start coming here for some smile/laugh/comedic inspiration!

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  23. I can just picture all of us sitting around complaining about our MOE, just like old men ramble on about gout. Thanks for the belly laughs, Ellen.

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  24. Well Im lucky I don't have DID but looks like I have everything else. :( so I am going to enter rehab for sure.....

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  25. Hahahaha....it was suggested I check in as I just purchased the Ladies Diary collection....I can't stop!!!! I need help.....do you serve cookies?

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  26. Stampitis is definitely my malady...I just purchased 45 clear stamp singles/sets.... please HELP ME! :)

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  27. OMG.....I think I need treatment and fast!!

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  28. Sharing on Blog and FB......I Love it!

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  29. omg too funny..I must admit I have all the symptoms to all of the disorders....is there still help for me....maybe Dr.Tim (Holtz) could help...Nancy

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  30. Help is just around the corner...actually on Monday, so stay tuned for BREAKING NEWS!! Also, I will be announcing which FOLLOWER will receive some HAPPY MAIL!

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  31. I think I have them all,,,,,,sigh.

    I also think I have a new disorder I have tentatively named,,,,,,

    CMM,,card making madness.

    It seems to be characterized by the inability to stop making cards, the collecting of hundreds of digi stamps and copic markers,,,,,and, of course,,,,,tons of spellbinders.

    I think it's pretty severe, because in its worst form,,,,,,,

    you don't want treatment.

    sigh.

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  32. LOL....I did not realize there was treatment for these disorders. I won't check in to the center until I have officially developed DID, TTS & WWT syndrome's. That way, I know I will be getting the most for my money...Until than I will use all of my extra cash to feed my MOE addiction.

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  33. Yes I have been caught I too bought the Ladies Diary Paper and not just one pad but three. Cr@p Im addicted.....

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  34. Thank you Dr! I now know my diseases and I don't know if I want to get well!!! DID, TTS, WWT CP, MOE, MAM = SCRAPAHOLICS SYNDROME ! I must use my stash and go shopping in my craftroom! Hubby agrees I have scrapahalic syndrome! Now...on to destash things I don't want anymore hmmmm....
    sigh,
    Leonie

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