Monday, June 4, 2012

Card Making for Dummies by Mrs. Hall Marks

I was given an advance copy of the new book CARD MAKING FOR DUMMIES  and couldn't wait to share a chapter with all of you. Using Mrs. Hall Marks easy-to-follow directions, I just made this very fun card. I'm giving away a signed copy of her book to one lucky Follower, so please leave a comment. This book is sure to become a best seller and I know you're going to want to add this to your craft library!

 My take on Mrs. Hall Marks' card!
That's a jelly fish wearing a pointed hat. Very fashionable, don't you think?
I used Kraft Paper, Graphic 45 and two crazy WONDERderful stamps!

Materials needed: white cardstock, trimmer, bone folder*, adhesive, patterned paper, 2 rubber stamps, stamp pad and a nice bottle of wine  

1. Using your paper trimmer cut:
           a. One piece of white cardstock at 5 ½” x 8 ½”
           b. Two pieces of blank colored paper at 5 ¼” x 4”
          c. One piece of patterned paper at 3 ½” x 4 ¾”
           d. One piece of blank colored paper at 2”x 2”
           e. One piece of white cardstock at 1 ½” x 1 ½”

2. Starting with the 5 ½” x 8 ½” white cardstock, fold in half. Using your bone folder, flatten along the center.

3. Once the card is folded, if you find that it is uneven, trim the edges.

4. After completing step 3, if you find it impossible to make even, don’t worry, just repeat steps #1.a., 2 and 3.

5. If, after wasting more than 4 pieces of paper you are beginning to feel overwhelmed, pour yourself a glass of wine. If that doesn't help, head over to Michael's and purchase a package of blank white greeting cards.

6. Time to take a few sips of wine, because you’re going to need some sustenance before we start the next step. 

7. Take out your stamp pad, the sentiment stamp you are going to use for the inside of the card, the tiny stamp for the front of the card, one piece of the 5 ¼” x 4” colored paper and the 1 ½” x 1 ½” white cardstock.

8.   Let’s start with the tiny stamp and white cardstock.

9. Be sure to work on a smooth, flat surface. Liberally ink the stamp.

10. Center the stamp and gently push down. 

11. If the stamped image is blurry or uneven, go back to step #1.e, cut additional white cardstock and then repeat steps #9 and #10 until you get one perfect stamp image.**

12. Congratulations! It's time for another sip of wine.

12. Working with one of the 5 ¼” x 4” blank colored papers and the sentiment stamp, repeat steps #9 and #10. 

13. If the stamped image is blurry or uneven, go back to step #1.b, cut additional colored paper and repeat steps #9 and #10 until you get a perfect stamp.**

14. Congratulations! It’s time for more wine.

15. Glue everything down. Admire your card. Oops – forgot to tell you to wash your hands. If you got ink on your perfectly finished card you have several options. After pouring yourself another glass of wine, you can either start over or go to Hallmark and buy a card!***

* This should not be confused with a leftover turkey bone. 
** Do not get frustrated. Stamping looks easy but what no one will tell you is that it isn’t for sissies! If however you begin to curse and there are young children around, take a breather. Perhaps a few more sips of wine is/are in order. 

*** Make sure you have a designated driver take you. You've had a bit too much wine!


  1. This is so stinkin' funny! I just sent a link of it to a friend!

    1. Many thanks Becky for sharing. Next time you visit LA, the drinks are on me!

  2. Substitute pomegranate martini for the wine and these are the steps I follow when I am stamping. I truly admire those who stamp well. It is such a frustrating task for me. Thanks for the laugh.

  3. Love it! My kind of card making ;)

  4. Ellen, I say it all the time - you make me Laugh Out Loud, and I LOVE that!!! :)

    These steps remind me of the foreword in my "official" Bubba Gump shrimp recipe book, by Mrs Blue, Bubba's momma. It's her recipe for (I believe) Steamed Shrimp ... one of the ingredients is beer. Most of it is for the cook, only a little gets added to the pot. But several more are needed as the recipe goes on. I love it! :)

  5. Hilarious! Can I just start with step 5? I never get my folded cards to line up perfectly, lol.

  6. Oh yes, stamping does increase my need for wine. I don't know how I tend to get ink EVERYWHERE. :)

  7. haha! Love this are so creative and funny!! Cute card too.

  8. I need this book; I NEED this book! Not only is the card adorable, but I do believe this is the first time I've laughed all day. (And on your advice, I'm going to stop for a glass of wine on the way home from work.)

    1. Laughter and wine - a great combinations! HUGS

  9. If things keep appearing too uneven and/or blurry, you don't think that possibly it could be the fault of the wine, do you? :>)

    Funny post, but it makes me think that I should try card-making sometime. However, I keep thinking that I can't get the layouts done I want to finish, so how can I start a new obsession? I already suffer from MOE and ULPS (Unfinished Layout Page Syndrome), plus a few other acronyms, so I'm not sure I can tackle the Dreaded Card Disease also!

  10. This is great. Looks like a good book!

  11. Fabulous as always my friend xx Michelle

  12. thoes are nice cards

  13. Oh Ellen, you've made me laugh so much my stomach hurts! Since discovering your blog last month, I've been meaning to catch up and read all your posts from the very beginning up until the present, but haven't had time until today. After reading all 46 postings, I've giggled and LOL'd so much I think my coworker thinks I've lost what little mind I had left! You are so clever and witty, and when combined with your smokin' talent, you are one unstoppable force!!

    BTW, love this card! That jellyfish is too adorable! And you're correct....stamping is NOT for sissies! I never used to be a big stamper, but I started making cards a few months ago (I was a diehard, dedicated scrapbooker, and didn't understand "cardmakers" [picture nose in air as that word is spoken] but now find I'm 100% hooked on cardmaking...I've crossed over to the dark side!) and since doing so I've also started rapidly increasing my stamp supply....the two definately go hand in hand!

    Keep up the awesome work darlin'....TFS!


  14. This card is stunning! I have a personal copy, unless this one was/is mine Stunning, love your "crazy" side!!

    Over the weekend I found the "perfect" stamp for you!! So be on the look out from mail from out east love ya gal!

    Again, keep up all the writing your amazing! So talented, so funny - and it isnt "always" the wine talking LOL!

  15. I'm so happy to be following your blog...the card is adorable and the hat is absolutely fashionable! :) And, the directions for creating the card are hilarious. Thank goodness I'm not the only scrapper who has had problems with stamping.
    PS- I would love a copy of the new book.


  16. Great instructions! Your posts are always good for a giggle :)